tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.comments2022-11-10T21:42:45.355+13:00Dilettante to Dynamo: A Beginning Writer's AdventuresVicky Bruerehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04435122366829086951noreply@blogger.comBlogger103125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-89216508717109105702020-06-04T21:14:18.960+12:002020-06-04T21:14:18.960+12:00I know your expertise on this. I must say we shoul...I know your expertise on this. I must say we should have an online discussion on this. Writing only comments will close the discussion straight away! And will restrict the benefits from this information.<br /><a href="http://www.podcastoverhaul.com/how-to-start-a-podcast" rel="nofollow">Podcast</a><br />ramizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17797483111126042074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-67313348390493959722012-01-03T17:03:48.189+13:002012-01-03T17:03:48.189+13:00Thank you for the info. It sounds pretty user frie...Thank you for the info. It sounds pretty user friendly. I guess I’ll pick one up for fun. thank u<br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><a href="http://www.isolve.co.in/e-publishing.htm" rel="nofollow">E-Publishing</a>Alexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08498385503201991742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-57984316528416035862011-08-14T14:56:33.114+12:002011-08-14T14:56:33.114+12:00Thanks for commenting E.R.- not least because it a...Thanks for commenting E.R.- not least because it alerted me to the horrible typo's in my title! <br />I'm a bit of a realist too. I guess I'm still trying to find the right blend. I guess that's what makes writing so exciting...you never know what might create if you let your imagination do the driving :)Vicky Bruerehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04435122366829086951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-41603153419671977392011-08-14T10:22:32.435+12:002011-08-14T10:22:32.435+12:00I can relate to your not wanting to write with mag...I can relate to your not wanting to write with magic, etc. but as you said, it can be exhilarating. I'm a realist and I tend to write as such, but sometimes it's fun to bend the rules!Emily R. Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03892444969625637064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-76957478465323970702011-08-13T09:44:52.300+12:002011-08-13T09:44:52.300+12:00Hi Mooderino, I too am finding it a bit challengin...Hi Mooderino, I too am finding it a bit challenging. It's nice to get some insight into your plan of attack. I think it's helped to relieve some of the pressure I've been putting on myself. Perhaps I should just go with the flow :)Vicky Bruerehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04435122366829086951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-20787608695982467582011-08-13T09:41:20.344+12:002011-08-13T09:41:20.344+12:00Hi Alleged, that's what I've been finding ...Hi Alleged, that's what I've been finding too. I don't want to let the characters remain as just a lot of scribbled notes in a notebook.Vicky Bruerehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04435122366829086951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-70912571215822723152011-08-12T23:50:05.849+12:002011-08-12T23:50:05.849+12:00For me it tends to go through troughs and peaks an...For me it tends to go through troughs and peaks and I have to ride one out and make the most of the other. I find it very hard to force myself to go against the grain. I write losts of to do lists though, just for the thrill of eventually clearing them. <br /><br />moodmooderinohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01523337588830695638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-56167656676171166702011-08-12T13:44:27.564+12:002011-08-12T13:44:27.564+12:00I've been making sure to establish time to wri...I've been making sure to establish time to write (otherwise the characters in my WIP try to yell at me).Alleged Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04869021184116123477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-56510137573861356392011-07-27T09:30:51.271+12:002011-07-27T09:30:51.271+12:00This story sounds adorable, and I already feel inv...This story sounds adorable, and I already feel invested. I want to hear exactly where this craziness will lead! I also LOVED the phrase "tickled the pen across the whiteboard." (Seems to be kinda polarizing, huh?) Excellent job!LisaAnnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02084670148565013397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-39067739438527519522011-07-27T04:04:29.347+12:002011-07-27T04:04:29.347+12:00Don't have anything to add, but I love the pre...Don't have anything to add, but I love the premise.Donna K. Weaverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15763832177263927311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-3327687511831642272011-07-26T13:35:37.645+12:002011-07-26T13:35:37.645+12:00What a smart teacher for instituting Teacher for t...What a smart teacher for instituting Teacher for the Day! The fight in the corner by the computers sounds like the basis of my 200 words. <br /><br />Great comments here for rewrite. Michelle's suggestion will bring the readers in immediately. <br /><br />I became one of your new followers and will be looking for your postings.Donna Peruginihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09119371217968036772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-51569295683989857922011-07-26T12:00:51.931+12:002011-07-26T12:00:51.931+12:00Great premise. I love Emma-she's been in my cl...Great premise. I love Emma-she's been in my class over the years. I agree with Michelle's suggestion for the opening. I'd keep reading. Great start!!<br />kathyAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02286437269354482883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-6990569408345821202011-07-26T11:31:08.425+12:002011-07-26T11:31:08.425+12:00Emma is definitely going to find some trouble. Thi...Emma is definitely going to find some trouble. This is a good setup and it has some good build up. I got confused almost as if it jumped forward in the middle after the kids started playing on the computer. I was looking at Emma at the chalkboard and then we were back on some other kids. This could be cleared up easily.Author Joshua Hoythttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01256754228034053632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-64447591715854889932011-07-26T09:09:00.410+12:002011-07-26T09:09:00.410+12:00Hi everyone
Thanks so much for your feedback and s...Hi everyone<br />Thanks so much for your feedback and suggestions. I'm going to have another look at it again today and put them into action. Apologies for the single response. Time is not on my side at the moment as my husband is away and I'm having to sort everyone and everything out...it's nearly 9am here and I'm still in my PJ's. I guess it just goes to show that he does more than I give him credit for!Vicky Bruerehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04435122366829086951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-53138003881732425942011-07-26T07:00:10.209+12:002011-07-26T07:00:10.209+12:00Great opening and insightful comments already. I&#...Great opening and insightful comments already. I'd only add that the second line "Emma didn’t want to be ‘THE TEACHER’…but it was a good opportunity to prove that kids don’t need rules to keep them out of trouble" stopped me. It was sort of long and it felt out of her POV, very author-directed. What if you just said, "She already had the perfect plan" or some such to tell us she knows what she's going to do -- but it keeps readers in suspense. I think the age group could handle it.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing! And I personally adored "bottoms jousted." I might change it to "bottoms jousted for seats" though....<br /><br />Luck! --LoraAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07253166034862608647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-21690464831189196372011-07-26T06:59:44.118+12:002011-07-26T06:59:44.118+12:00I agree with the others. This sounds like a great ...I agree with the others. This sounds like a great read and if you're going for the moral - rules are to help you - I LOVE it. :)<br />Also agree about the tickling marker, tho. Markers squeak, slide over whiteboard but I can't seen one laughing when a market touches it. It threw me a bit.<br />And agree w/ Amber on your last graph.<br />Good luck - wish we could see the illustrations that go w/ this! <br />I'm a also a new follower.Melodie Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04599091593083976703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-65625644875907677772011-07-26T06:30:08.373+12:002011-07-26T06:30:08.373+12:00Cute beginning! I think Mid graders would love th...Cute beginning! I think Mid graders would love the "teacher for the day" idea . . . I know I would have at that age. <br /><br />You've got some great suggestions so far, loved Michelle's idea for the beginning and Amber's for the end.<br /><br />Great start :)K.V. Briarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05508488198134394672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-57004957236679238592011-07-26T06:06:00.374+12:002011-07-26T06:06:00.374+12:00Super cute idea :) Somewhere between her ticking t...Super cute idea :) Somewhere between her ticking the whiteboard (which I totally got, btw -- great use of words), I feel like soemthing happened that made me not udnerstand. It was too abrupt -- can there be a line in there about 'She looked back over the class -- HER class -- and smiled. 'Now,' she thought, 'off to have my own fun!'<br /><br />Also, at the end of the passage, the line about 'this isn't how I pictured my day' was also a little fast ... maybe it would be better to say 'her NO RULES day wasn't getting off to a great, super fun start.'<br /><br />Hope this helps :) <br />Amamberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11158553862638051863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-7520628848730900332011-07-26T06:01:36.682+12:002011-07-26T06:01:36.682+12:00Love this! Got nothing to critique. Full of voice,...Love this! Got nothing to critique. Full of voice, and the word rumpus is awesome, and fitting for this age group.<br /><br />Awesome job and good luck!alexiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07122487552931794871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-91149311478751431352011-07-26T04:33:44.625+12:002011-07-26T04:33:44.625+12:00Love this! "Emma had won it fair and square&q...Love this! "Emma had won it fair and square" --what a kid like thought to have! <br /><br />I don't know much about this genre, but I'll throw this minor criticism out there for you to think over. My only beef would be the line: "Everyone looks excited." Emma beamed.<br /><br />When I read it out loud, it doesn't sound right. Also, is this something a kid would really say? And why would she say it? <br /><br />Maybe axe it and change the line to: "Emma beamed. “I can’t wait to play with my new deck of Uno cards,” she announced. But before it got to her turn, there was a rumpus in the computer nook."<br /><br />The applause clues us in to the fact that the class embraces the idea--no need to say they're excited.<br /><br />Altogether a cute, catchy beginning!lindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02715499969607564911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-56316699379849563652011-07-26T04:06:48.702+12:002011-07-26T04:06:48.702+12:00Ditto! This would really grab the attention of lot...Ditto! This would really grab the attention of lots of middle grade readers. <br /><br />Although, the line "tickled the pen..." is pretty -- it stopped me. Michelle's suggestion is a good one. <br /><br />This story has loads of potential, I bet Emma could get into trouble in more than one book.amy kennedyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15696288092773950469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-51508331591125629762011-07-26T03:28:51.463+12:002011-07-26T03:28:51.463+12:00I really liked this!
She tickled the pen across t...I really liked this!<br /><br />She tickled the pen across the whiteboard, giggling. I tend to read literally so this reads that the whiteboard is giggling. Just changed giggling to and giggled and it works.<br /><br />Michelle has a great suggestion for the opening lines. It gets right to the heart of the story.Nicole Zoltackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07464800543376449290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-58080546271567272412011-07-26T01:36:28.256+12:002011-07-26T01:36:28.256+12:00Great story idea. I like Michelle's suggestion...Great story idea. I like Michelle's suggestion. Good luck:)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-23957757977542715772011-07-26T00:12:46.645+12:002011-07-26T00:12:46.645+12:00Vicky, this is such a lively beginning! I definite...Vicky, this is such a lively beginning! I definitely feel Emma's personality shining through, and I love the premise. <br /><br />Your writing is lovely and the words all fit together seamlessly. I love how you've incorporated sound in your writing. There were a couple of things that stuck out for me:<br /><br />"Bottoms jousted for a seat" struck me as a little odd in terms of phrasing. I can't picture jousting this way.<br /><br />And I wondered if playing with Uno cards would be the first thing a kid would want to do when there are no rules. Really? It seems a little tame. <br /><br />Also, it's not clear to me if the teacher is in the room (maybe this comes in later) and is watching?<br /><br />I can see this book as being a great springboard for discussion and creative writing assignments in elementary school. I definitely wanted to read on to find out the rest of the story.Andrea Mackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15250681746122381149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690753700655017125.post-9702759750200759632011-07-25T23:33:43.381+12:002011-07-25T23:33:43.381+12:00I agree with alleged author about the board pen. A...I agree with alleged author about the board pen. As nice as it sounds - the board pens are just really slippy - like an eel.<br /><br />Great story though - love the fact that you'll be teaching kids that rules are there for a reason. - fairness and order etc.<br /><br />Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com